This time we discuss Alfonso Cuarón’s Children of Men, yet another dystopian vision of the future, because the ultimate goal of this podcast, as it turns out, is to depress Mom. She shares some childhood memories and we conclude I am a likeable person. Mom drags in Son of Man, Soylent Green, and Sophie’s Choice and I try to understand how films I’ve never heard of are related to the subject matter at hand. She gushes over some of the actors she loves that are in this film, albeit for a short while. Mostly we go through the story and highlight our favorite scenes and continue to find that none of it is really all that fictional, let alone sci-fi. We look up a couple of actresses without mentioning their names to you, because we mostly wanted to know their characters’ names. The government handing out suicide pills leads to a tangent full of miscommunication, but no one commits suicide at the end of it. Someone does get pumped full of bullets and Mom is quite interested in how the body convulses before hitting the ground. In the interest of never going into politics – as is totally the mission statement on our podcast, in case none of you had ever noticed – Mom jokes about Trump’s response to the Parkland shooting. The trailer for today was the Official Trailer of Francis Lawrence’s Red Sparrow, which stars some actors Mom absolutely loves!
This week we get around to Denis Villeneuve’s Blade Runner 2049, the most expensive arthouse sequel ever! I was suffering from a sore throat and had no voice after a night out; don’t worry, I edited out most of the painful coughing I had to deal with. We try to remember what the Ridley Scott’s original Blade Runner was about (something something what is humanity), talk about whether or not Harrison Ford is a replicant (it’s probably just his character), and trail off to a Dutch play about sex robots that none of you will know (it was good though). Before I could get to the issues of ableism surrounding Jared Leto’s role and behavior, mom brought up the pronunciation of 2049, another hugely important matter of social relevance. Spike Jonze’s Her begs to be brought up as well in conversations about artificial intelligence in films, so we graciously comply. We also briefly discuss the other three movies we went to see that day: Ruben Östlund’s The Square (set in Stockholm, we almost guessed right), Andrea Arnold’s American Honey, and Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk. This episode’s trailer time showcases Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, prompting us to share our memories of the franchise.
Welcome back for our episode about Martin McDonagh’s Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri! If in your culture it’s still acceptable to wish you a happy New Year in February, happy New Year; if not, have a nice Tuesday, I guess. After putting our New Year’s resolution out there to upload more consistently from now on, we venture into remembering what our target audience even was. Don’t worry, we still spoil basically everything, so figured we’re not suddenly aiming at people who haven’t seen the film yet. Prepared as ever, we fail to correctly spoil what the billboards say (“Raped while dying / and still no arrests? / How come, chief Willoughby?”) but we were close-ish, I’d say. Police ranks prove to be confusing for us throughout, as do different firearms (but really, who cares about the difference between a rifle and a revolver, we’re European). I also did try to keep my mom from saying overly intellectually ableist things on air, but couldn’t stop myself from saying revenge-y instead of vengeful at some point. We also talk about the Oscar nominations and make some uneducated guesses about which films will get Academy Awards in 2018! Mom spirals into a rant about Call Me by Your Name and as a result, I probably won’t watch it myself (something with gay representation having been shitty since forever). Me showing her a trailer at the end of the episode will be a regular segment from now on though, and we start off with the Red Band Trailer for I, Tonya!
Today mom and I discuss Kenneth Branagh’s Thor and Joe Johnston’s Captain America: The First Avenger! After the shortest coming out I’ve ever done, given how there’s no room for asking questions immediately in this one-way street of a medium, we dive into the local weather. In our end segment What Did We See Without Being Forced?, we talk about A Ghost Story, Suburbicon, Bordertown, The Punisher, and Murder on the Orient Express. Mom confuses a friend’s cat named Floki for Loki and I assume she was referring to Vikings the historical people and not Vikings the TV show. She compares Thor to another fish-out-of-water comedy I’d never heard of, appreciates Anthony Hopkins as any sane person would, before we end up confusing the entirety of Scandinavia because we couldn’t tell a Swedish name from a Danish one if our lives depended on it. Natalie Portman is a negligible topic, as is the CGI Destroyer, which we compared to Lego’s Bionicle line of toys. She really liked Lady Sif, I forgot one of the Warriors Three is played by an Asian actor, and mom has more opinions on Scandinavia to share – all of which are based on Scandinavian cinema and nothing else – before we devolve into a discussion about autism – which I’m sure neither of us is qualified for either. When we get into Captain America, I first have to explain that, yes, that blue cube in Thor is the same blue cube as in The First Avenger. Mom mourns the loss of our good cop-bad cop dynamic now that she likes these movies and we discuss which of Cap’s bodies was his real one. I tell her about the Agent Carter One Shot and TV show and she promises to try not to die before I’ve shown her that. We’ll finally get to The Avengers soon, which mom expects to have a combination of Russia, the Asgardian Gods and Germany for its villain. Before then, she will continue trying to pick a subject for my theses at university, apparently. I show her the trailer for Infinity War, just so she understands it helps to watch previous movies before going to sequels, and she scolds me for dropping just as many F-bombs as she had done earlier in the same episode. Casey Affleck and A Ghost Story in general gets our language more vulgar anyway, while mom’s language also continues to become more German, which means I’m translating across three languages for her half the time. Leftovers are shade being thrown at our internet provider and my mom singing for a bit, so enjoy that.
Right on time for our latest episode, Zack Snyder’s (or let’s be real, Joss Whedon’s) Justice League is finally here! I took my mom along for my third viewing and we’re here to give our opinions: mom was glad that she liked one of my comic book movies again, but didn’t know what she signed up for, as I have a lot of issues to work through with this film. In a truly legendary role reversal of our usual good cop-bad cop, I ask mom about her overall thoughts before explaining the troubled production this movie went through; she didn’t notice them, but I sure as hell did and needed to vent. I earned that explicit tag on this episode, as even my notes included some F-bombs. I tackle the Amazon costume controversy, the Superman porn mustache, and the leaked VFX scenes, while mom brings up Harry Potter and It for comparisons and is amazed at how difficult I’m making it for myself to just have fun. I also confuse Ben Affleck’s Best Picture Oscar with a Best Directing Oscar he never got, so whoops. Included in this podcasting package are: reviews of different actors’ eyes, as well as Thor: Ragnarok, and The Fall.
In this episode we finally get to Christopher Nolan’s Batman Begins! That is to say, after we talk about protecting your children from scary movies, my little brother’s school trip, and our own future traveling. We also confuse Mr. Bean and Johnny English, try to make sense of Batman’s “no killing” rule, mom insults Cillian Murphy’s face for a bit, we review Morgan Freeman’s beer commercial, and look forward to the guy from Brokeback Mountain in the next installment. I try to explain the horrors of Batman & Robin to someone who has thankfully never been exposed to the movie, we trail off into 007 territory, I confuse a Bond girl for Bond, struggle to remember Olga Kurylenko’s name, mom gives the perfect description of Adam West, and insults Amy Adams when I show her the latest Justice League trailer. She warms up to Ben Affleck, but then proceeds to call a DC show I love “stupid”, so it’s a small win. Talking about the detective show she spent this week on, she confuses actors that look nothing alike; talking about Taylor Sheridan’s Wind River, I forget to mention Elizabeth Olsen is also in a Marvel movie – even together with Jeremy Renner. Mom compares it to two LGBTQ+ related films in a row for some reason and we somehow end up discussing Tarantino as well.
We continue the MCU with Louis Leterrier’s The Incredible Hulk and Jon Favreau’s Iron Man 2, and as if mom didn’t have a hard enough time trying to remember two films she slept through parts of, she’s also getting sick. To cheer her up, I try to explain comic connections and tell her trivia about the productions of the just-okay part of Marvel’s Phase One, before we delve into Andrés Muschietti’s It, Darren Aronofsky’s Mother!, Stephen Frears’ Victoria and Abdul, and Matthew Vaughn’s Kingsman: The Golden Circle. Yeah, it’s pretty clear we’re able go to the cinema as often as we’d like. There’s also a Freudian slip in there, so enjoy that one. We end off with a discussion of recent political events in Germany that will severely date this episode!
We get started on The Lord of the Rings epic with Peter Jackson’s The Fellowship of the Ring! First I had to say sorry for misrepresenting the movie I showed Mom, then we recap all our experiences with The Hobbit trilogy and the Harry Potter octology for some reason. A friend of mine is with us in spirit, even if she didn’t want to actually be on the show to profess her love for the books in English. Mom recommends Edgar Allan Poe to me, mentions Predator out of nowhere, we argue about statues and whether or not Michelangelo’s David has arms, I turn out to be right, she confuses some American landmarks, and we bring it full circle with an Astérix reference – trust me. Mom also makes some interesting predictions for the next couple of films and we scroll through Ian McKellen’s filmography LIVE on air! I also spoil Atomic Blonde, so, you know, watch out for that.
We finally tackle a Marvel movie, starting off with the MCU and therefore Jon Favreau’s Iron Man! As we discuss the film that kicked off the cinematic universe craze, I struggle to keep mom from switching to other films she happens to have seen before the end of the episode and ultimately fail, we discuss ancient technology from the eighties and of course the whining of Pepper Potts. Part of the recording started to skip part of every sentence, so you’re missing out on our opinions on the quality of Arabic in Iron Man (no clue) compared to German and Russian in Atomic Blonde (cringe-worthy) and Dutch/Flemish in Wonder Woman (horrific). You do, however, get to listen to me having to explain that the Department of Homeland Security isn’t fictional, but S.H.I.E.L.D. definitely is. I wish you could also see my face when mom says she didn’t recognize Samuel L. Jackson, but such are the limits of the medium. Mom saying “shit” never gets old, we guess wrong on whether or not The Omen is older than The Shining or not, and mom still sort of spoils Wakefield for me. Also, enjoy a bunch of barking in the background, courtesy of Amy and Lizzy!
In our episode on George Lucas’ Star Wars, mom explains how much it made her laugh, she confuses Peter Cushing with Christopher Lee without even knowing the latter ended up in the franchise as well, we speculate on the history of hologram invention without any knowledge on the topic, mom relates the production design to the Cold War, I try to avoid spoilers everyone on the planet knows already but she might not, we extensively discuss Princess Leia’s breasts, recap her introduction to MCU properties, and I make her watch the trailer for It, before giving some terrible advice to any alcoholics out there!